Friday, September 30, 2016
Think and Grow Rich INVESTOR PODCAST
EVERYTHING THAT I GIVE, I WILL GET BACK IN RETURN, WITH INTEREST ACCRUED
ONE OF THE BIGGEST MISNOMERS IN LIFE IS THAT YOU NEED TO SEE SOMETHING INTANGIBLE.
PERSISTENCE:
if you are not doing something persistently, it's going to be very difficult to achieve that you are setting out to get
i think a lot of people have to see something tangible in order for them to think that it's actually paying off
that is one of the biggest MISNOMERS in LIFE
is that you have to see something TANGIBLE
there is so much intangible VALUE that you can CREATE for yourself that will sometimes TRANSMUTE itself into something TANGIBLE later on
but you have to wait
the TIME element is the thing that you have to take out of this
because as you wait for it to OCCUR, it will be PAID back to you
it is just a matter of WHEN it will get PAID back to you.
it might be TOMORROW, it might be in 10 minutes, or it might be in 10 years
you have to have FAITH in the fact that it will come back to you
And whenever you make that transition and you make that LEAP
EVERYTHING THAT I GIVE I WILL RECEIVE.
and it needs to be in that order
EVERYTHING YOU GIVE IS WHAT YOU RECEIVE
whenever you understand that and you understand that most of the time you have to do a lot of intangible acts or all your values being stored in intangible returns
and ALL OF A SUDDEN it will start TRANSMUTING itself into a TANGIBLE result
when people understand that, they will have a huge LEAP in the amount of SUCCESS they SEE in their lives
Wednesday, May 25, 2016
Tartine Breads
BULK FERMENTATION
If the dough is mixed using cooler water, at 65F (18c), it will need 8-12 hours of bulk fermentation, rather than 3-4 hours, as long as it's kept at 55 (13c) to 65 (18c)
>> meaning at 25c room temp, 2-3 hours should be enough
>> while fridge can take up to 24 hours...meaning....DO THE BULK AT ROOM TEMP!!! -unless i want the ultimate bread which would take super long time...
If you let the bulk fermentation go too long, the final rise will be sluggish as the food that fuels the fermentation has been exhausted. The glutens in the dough also begin degrating after a certain point due to inceasing acidity, which results in a tighter, more uniform crumb. The volume of the final loaf will be smaller, and the flavor more acidic. When the dough is baked, the crust will color faster due to residual sugars on the surface of the dough that caramelizes too quickly, and the scores on the surface will not open well to form the decorative crust
>> is this why my last loaf of WW Rye was the darkest and burnt even with the same amount of baking time?
Conversely, if the bulk fermentation is cut short, the dough will not be properly aerated. Lacking strength, the pre-shaped round will run on the tabletop during the bench rest. The baked color will be dull, and again, the scores will not open well - if at all
>> explains why my "overproofed" overnight loaves were so flat and light colored...it was not from an overproofed final but actually an underproofed bulk...damn!!!
BENCH REST
"should i give the dough a long bench rest to develop more strength, or should i shape the dough twice to give more tension?" you can make immediate adjustments by allowing for a longer or shorter bench rest to ensure you get the results you want. If your dough cools down too quickly after you divide it, or if it seems heavy and not sufficiently aerated, warm up the room and give the dough more time on the bench before shaping
>> this is exactly what happened today with a super cold bulk fermentation (5/26/16)...as i folded it, i loved the silky feel, but there was no volume...felt like rye slurry...at that moment, i should have allows it to rise on the bench...but i didn't know so i shaped it and put it into the basket...and in the basket, it did it's final which turned into it's bulk...as it was rising flat, so i reshaped it after 1 hr and 45 minutes...when the preshape and final shape felt good...felt like much aeration and volume...so by accident, i did the right thing and i think the loaves will benefit from it.
Generally speaking, if the dough is divided too early, you need more time and maybe an additional shaping with a 15-minute rest in between
>> yah...so instead of forcing the final shape...if it feels too silky, i should preshape fold and preshape fold again after...then final shape when it's ready
>> crazy how well my super cold fridge and my schedule got all this correct most of the time back in NH...didn't know why..but glad to know now
Divide your loaves too late, and you'll need to shape the dough swiftly and gently, keeping as much air intact as possible. In this case, you'll want to bake sooner rather than later
>> this is more what happened to me before...where i had quite fluffy dough after a long auto and bulk...in which case, i should have just shaped it without stitching and bake soon afterwards
With highly hydrated dough, the final shape is crucial for developing the tension or force needed for the loaf to maintain its form throughout the long final rise. Proper final shaping is also essential to achieve the dramatic arced "ears" that bloom forming a decorative crust when your scores expand and open
THE FINAL RISE
The final rising time is variable. At warm proofing temperatures around 80F, loaves will be ready to bake in 3 to 4 hours. if you don't retard the final rising, your bread will have little to no perceptible sour flavor, and the flavor, and the flavor of the wheat will be more up-front. You will gain the benefits of sourdough: your bread will stay fresh longer, and it will have a more complex flavor.
>> meaning i should do a longer final rise than i was used to..and the ones where i did have a longer final rise such as the bread i had with rino for comparison of my yeasted vs sourdough breads....so...again, by accident, i did this...and lately, i felt my bread lacked that interesting flavor
During a longer final rise, flavors gained from fermentation build to an optimal intensity and then become increasingly sour.
STORING
Breads that cools slowly will keep fresh longer. Stack the loaves together on the edge and let them cool for 2 to 4 hours
If the dough is mixed using cooler water, at 65F (18c), it will need 8-12 hours of bulk fermentation, rather than 3-4 hours, as long as it's kept at 55 (13c) to 65 (18c)
>> meaning at 25c room temp, 2-3 hours should be enough
>> while fridge can take up to 24 hours...meaning....DO THE BULK AT ROOM TEMP!!! -unless i want the ultimate bread which would take super long time...
If you let the bulk fermentation go too long, the final rise will be sluggish as the food that fuels the fermentation has been exhausted. The glutens in the dough also begin degrating after a certain point due to inceasing acidity, which results in a tighter, more uniform crumb. The volume of the final loaf will be smaller, and the flavor more acidic. When the dough is baked, the crust will color faster due to residual sugars on the surface of the dough that caramelizes too quickly, and the scores on the surface will not open well to form the decorative crust
>> is this why my last loaf of WW Rye was the darkest and burnt even with the same amount of baking time?
Conversely, if the bulk fermentation is cut short, the dough will not be properly aerated. Lacking strength, the pre-shaped round will run on the tabletop during the bench rest. The baked color will be dull, and again, the scores will not open well - if at all
>> explains why my "overproofed" overnight loaves were so flat and light colored...it was not from an overproofed final but actually an underproofed bulk...damn!!!
BENCH REST
"should i give the dough a long bench rest to develop more strength, or should i shape the dough twice to give more tension?" you can make immediate adjustments by allowing for a longer or shorter bench rest to ensure you get the results you want. If your dough cools down too quickly after you divide it, or if it seems heavy and not sufficiently aerated, warm up the room and give the dough more time on the bench before shaping
>> this is exactly what happened today with a super cold bulk fermentation (5/26/16)...as i folded it, i loved the silky feel, but there was no volume...felt like rye slurry...at that moment, i should have allows it to rise on the bench...but i didn't know so i shaped it and put it into the basket...and in the basket, it did it's final which turned into it's bulk...as it was rising flat, so i reshaped it after 1 hr and 45 minutes...when the preshape and final shape felt good...felt like much aeration and volume...so by accident, i did the right thing and i think the loaves will benefit from it.
Generally speaking, if the dough is divided too early, you need more time and maybe an additional shaping with a 15-minute rest in between
>> yah...so instead of forcing the final shape...if it feels too silky, i should preshape fold and preshape fold again after...then final shape when it's ready
>> crazy how well my super cold fridge and my schedule got all this correct most of the time back in NH...didn't know why..but glad to know now
Divide your loaves too late, and you'll need to shape the dough swiftly and gently, keeping as much air intact as possible. In this case, you'll want to bake sooner rather than later
>> this is more what happened to me before...where i had quite fluffy dough after a long auto and bulk...in which case, i should have just shaped it without stitching and bake soon afterwards
With highly hydrated dough, the final shape is crucial for developing the tension or force needed for the loaf to maintain its form throughout the long final rise. Proper final shaping is also essential to achieve the dramatic arced "ears" that bloom forming a decorative crust when your scores expand and open
THE FINAL RISE
The final rising time is variable. At warm proofing temperatures around 80F, loaves will be ready to bake in 3 to 4 hours. if you don't retard the final rising, your bread will have little to no perceptible sour flavor, and the flavor, and the flavor of the wheat will be more up-front. You will gain the benefits of sourdough: your bread will stay fresh longer, and it will have a more complex flavor.
>> meaning i should do a longer final rise than i was used to..and the ones where i did have a longer final rise such as the bread i had with rino for comparison of my yeasted vs sourdough breads....so...again, by accident, i did this...and lately, i felt my bread lacked that interesting flavor
During a longer final rise, flavors gained from fermentation build to an optimal intensity and then become increasingly sour.
STORING
Breads that cools slowly will keep fresh longer. Stack the loaves together on the edge and let them cool for 2 to 4 hours
Sunday, November 1, 2015
Outwitting the Devil, part 2
"duty" is one of the most abused and misunderstood words in existence. the first duty of every human being is to himself. every person owes himself the duty of finding how to live a full and happy life. beyond this, if one has time and energy not needed in the fulfillment of his own desires, one may assume responsibility for helping others.
your theory is that too much help thrust upon the youth encourages him to drift and become indefinite in all things. you believe that necessity is a teacher of great sagacity, that defeat carries with it an equivalent virtue, that unearned gifts of every nature may become a curse instead of a blessing.
people who whine and beg god to assume responsibility for all their troubles and provide them with all the necessities and luxuries of life are too lazy to create what they want and translate it into existence through the power of their own minds
failure is a man-made circumstance. it js never real until it has been accepted as permanent. failure is a state of mind
the only thing of enduring value to any human being is a working knowledge of his own mind. the churches do not permit a person to inquire into the possibilities of his own mind, and the schools do not recognize that such a thing as a mind exists
sin is anything one does or thinks which causes one to be unhappy. human beings who are in sound physical and spiritual health should be at peace with themselves and always happy. any form of mental or physical misery indicates the presence of sin
it is a sin to accept from life anything one does not want because that indicates an unpardonable neglect to use the mind
faith is the absence of all forms of negative thought
faith is definiteness of purpose backed by belief in the attainment of the object of that purpose
the person who is not master of himself can never be master of others
accurate knowledge on the subject of sex is next to the top of the list. there is but one thing of greater importance to human beings. that is accurate thought...accurate thinking is aided by properly controlled and directed sex emotion because sex emotion is the same energy as that with which one thinks.
wise men keep their plans to themselves and refrain from expressing uninvited opinions. this prevents others from appropriating their ideas and makes it difficult for others to interfere with their plans
...the habit is a way of expressing egotism and vanity. the motive behind the habit is to attract the attention of others to impress them favorably. actually it has just the opposite effect. when the self invited speaker attracts attention, it usually is unfavorable
...the habit is a way of expressing egotism and vanity. the motive behind the habit is to attract the attention of others to impress them favorably. actually it has just the opposite effect. when the self invited speaker attracts attention, it usually is unfavorable
no single quality adds more to one's personality than the ability to speak with emotional feeling, force, and conviction but the speaker must not impose his speech upon others without being invited to do so
but what are people going to lean upon in the hour of emergency when they know not where nor to whom to appeal?
let them lean upon the only dependable power available to any human being...themselves! the power of their own thoughts. the only power they can control and may rely upon.
let them lean upon the only dependable power available to any human being...themselves! the power of their own thoughts. the only power they can control and may rely upon.
we tend to want to change other people when we can truly only change ourselves and how we react to others
if they knew the difference between temporary defeat and failure, they would not quit when they meet opposition from life. if they knew that every form of defeat, and all failures, bring with them the seed of unborn opportunity, they would keep on fighting and win. success usually is but one short step beyond the point where one quits fighting
failure often serves as a blessing in disguise because it breaks the grip of hypnotic rhythm and frees the mind for a fresh start
failure proves conclusively that something is wrong with one's aims or the plans by which the object of these aims is sought. failure is the dead end of the habit path one has been following, and when it is reached it forces one to leave that path and take up another, thereby creating a new rhythm...failure also forces people to learn many truths they would never discover without it.
hypnotic rhythm picks up the dominating motives, aims, purposes, and feelings of the contacting minds and weaves these into some degree of faith, fear, love, or hatred
successful human relationships, to endure as such must be formed of minds that naturally harmonize, quite aside from the question of having common interests as a means of bringing them into harmony.
adversity forces an individual to test his mental, physical, and spiritual strength. it thus brings him face to face with hjs weaknesses and gives him the opportunity to bridge them.
adversity forces one to seek ways and means to definite ends by meditation and introspective thought. this often leads to the discovery and use of tbe sixth sense through which one may communicate with infinite intelligence.
adversity forces one to recognize the need for intelligence not available except from sources outside of one's own mind
adversity breaks old habits of thought and gives one an opportunity to form new habits
adversity forces one to seek ways and means to definite ends by meditation and introspective thought. this often leads to the discovery and use of tbe sixth sense through which one may communicate with infinite intelligence.
adversity forces one to recognize the need for intelligence not available except from sources outside of one's own mind
adversity breaks old habits of thought and gives one an opportunity to form new habits
failure is a blessing when it forces one to depend less upon material forces and more upon spiritual forces
life gives to everyone the power of positive thought, which is sufficient to master all circumstances of adversity and convert them into benefits
the most important part of one's environment is that created by his association with others. all people absorb and take over, either consciously or unconsciously, the thought habits of those with whom they associate closely.
be careful of all forces which inspire thought; those are the forces which constitute environment and determine the nature of one's earthly destiny
Q: What class of people controls their environmental influences?
A: the non-drifters. all who are victims of the habit of drifting forfeit their power to choose their own environment. they become the victims of every negative influence in their environment.
Drifting is nothing but a negative state of mind, a state of mind conspicuous by it's emptiness of purpose
Every human being is duty bound to himself to remove from his environment every influence which even remotely tends to develop negative thought-habits
nature will not tolerate idleness or vacuums of any sort. all space must be and is filled with something. when the individual does not use the brain for the expression of positive, creative thoughts, nature fills the vacuum by forcing the brain to act upon negative thoughts.
Q: do you mean that if i drift along through life, without definite aim or purpose, the non-drifter may become my master, and time only serves to give the non-drifter a stronger and more permanent grip upon me?
A: that is stating the truth exactly
Q: what is wisdom?
A: wisdom is the ability to relate yourself to nature's laws so as to make them serve you, and the ability to relate yourself to other people so as to gain their harmonious, willing cooperation in helping you to make life yield whatever you demand of it.
"Victory goes to the people who know what they want and are determined to have it. They have mastered the habit of drifting. they have definite policies, definite plans, and definite objectives. Their opposition, which may outnumber them very greatly, has no chance against them because the opposition has no plan, no purpose, no policy except that of drifting along, hoping that something may turn up to help them."
stating in one brief sentence the most important part of this book:
One's dominating desires can be crystallized into their physical equivalents through definiteness of purpose backed by definiteness of plans, with the aid of nature's law of hypnotic rhythm and time!
Friday, October 16, 2015
The success principles
asking yourself:
how am i creating or allowing this to happen?
1. what am i doing that's working that i need to be doing more of?
2. what am i doing that's not working?
- what do i need to be doing less of?
3. what am i doing that i need to try on to see if it works?
but the formula is simple- do more of what is working, do less of what isn't, and try on new behaviors to see if they produce better results
i believe each of us is born with a life purpose. identifying, acknowledging, and honoring this purpose is perhaps the most important action successful people take. they take the time to understand what they're here to do - and they pursue that with passion and enthusiasm
your inner guidance is your joy
the things that bring you the greatest joy are in alignment with your purposes. to begin to home in on your purpose, make a list of the times you felt most joyful and alive. what are the common elements of these experiences? can you figure out a way to make a living doing these things?
(hw..question above to recent several months)
- experiment with hamburg recipe at tdl
- creating rice ball recipe at home
- talking bread with dough
- creating and teaching box and paper ball lesson at nh
- eating like a buffet with jiyoon at pangyo mall
- thinking of ideas for merlion menu while taking a shower
- flirting with yungyo in the tdl kitchen with french fries
- working in flow at the pasta station at the old tdl
- working in flow at the hamburger station at tdl
- teaching 지영 my tricks and tips after work
- helping subin think of essay ideas for xmas santa speech contest
- thinking of ideas for 족발 banh mi with donghyeok
- seeing minseok and daehyeon at bangkok express
figure out what you love to do as young as you can, and then organize your life around figuring out how to make a living at it
1. list 2 unique personal qualities
- establish report through trust easily
- creativity and drive to make it perfect
2. list 1 or 2 ways you enjoy expressing those qualities when interacting with others
- giving unorthodox or inspiring solutions
- making them smile and laugh
3. assume the world is perfect right now. what does it look like? how is everyone interacting? what does it feel like?
so clean. people all smiling and having the utmost common courtesy for others. like the southern hospitality mixed with singapore modern tropical feel and japan perfection...but also a carefree surfer bali coolness with the happiness and tranquility and calm of mihwangsa temple stay. people acting driven and self motivated to do their best. so focused on self improvement and so successful at living out their passion than all things are art including farming, teaching, cooking, construction, even administration and politcal work. all with self driven ambition...and so alive that they glow with excitement and love. the love rubs off on everyone through their smiles. individual selves not concerned with needing from others but in true control and awareness of their minds to create anything they desire. feels amazing to know that the world is generous, safe, filled with helpful, happy people, and that i am free to live life the way i please without any outside criticism or pressures from society or family and friends. it feels like utopia. free but no boredom...instead, it is full passion and care and gratitude
my purpose is to use my curiosity and creativity to create smiles and drive that will inspires others to live with passion and compassion
what does success look like to you? what do you want to accomplish? what do you want to experience? and what possessions do you want to acquire?
my experience is that one of the few differences between the superachievers and the rest if the world is that the superachievers simply dream bigger
create your future from your future, not your past.
scientists used to believe that humans responded to information flowing into the brain from the outside world. but today, they're learning instead that we respond to what the brain, on the basis of previous experience, expects to happen next.
whatever your dream is, look at yourself in the mirror and declare that you are indeed going to achieve it - no matter what price
Thursday, March 1, 2012
The Law of the Garbage Truck
by David J. Pollay
p10 - Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they look for a place to dump it. And if you let them, they'll dump it on you. So when someone wants to dump on you, don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Believe me, you'll be happier
HW p11 -i would gain more time. I would not lose time out with friends or myself wasted on the garbage. I would have a more productive life. I would feel better and be more happier more often. I would not have the stress i carry and be able to be a better friend, boyfriend, co-worker, neighbor. I would be able to live more the life i want to live and the life i believe i deserve. Instead of 1 hr a day where i can concentrate on what matters with rest of the time wasted on garbage, i can use 6 hrs a day on the relevant stuff and no time at all on the garbage.
p53 + p54 - in simple terms, displaced aggression boils down to taking out your frustration on someone else; you let a negative event in your life upset you to the point of disproportionately and inappropriately lashing out at someone else at their slightest provocation......a mildly annoying event is perceived as highly aversive and deserving of an aggressive response.
HW, p55 - How have GT stolen your happiness and success? def JK and then KB and also debt worries...they made me feel like shit. as if the most important, and nearly the only important thing in my life is fucked so life is, as result, fucked as well. they took away all my energy from everything else. no matter what i was doing, no matter how fun, i would quickly get slapped right back into that tense, unhappy moments....
p60 - We are given a choice every day in the way we respond to each other. When people sincerely apologize, show remorse, and attempt to make amends, we have the opportunity to show grace and forgive them. We may still hold them accountable and accept compensation, but we can forgive them.
- Appreciate being forgiven. Before you are able to forgive another person, a good first exercise is to appreciate an instance of when you yourself have been forgotten.
- Life is not a series of discreet events - it's fluid. How you conclude one interaction affects how you respond to the next. How you treat one person carries over to the next person, and that person will more often than not carry that energy to the people he or she encounters. When you forgive people their transgressions, you set in motion a wave of good feelings. When you punish them with your words and behavior, you set in motion a wave of ill feelings.
- The experience of forgiveness when it occurs is not just the notion of being relieved of a burden, but also a joyful eureka sense of having solved a problem. Suddenly, the fight-or-flight response of vengeance is replaced by the calming vision of green pastures and still waters of peace
HW p62 - Think of the people you may have judged too harshly in recent months for acting like garbage trucks. how did you turn their mistakes into major offenses. consider what role u played in the incident. In retrospect, write below how you could have offered real-time forgiveness to those people and let their actions pass by.
- labeling KB has a garbage truck is good in that i don't allow her negativity to bother me as much but in some ways, i am considering everything she does as negative or coersive with a hidden agenda....and this of course is prob how she sees me and all my actions...she has been sporatically helpful and i should not forget that. at times she has mainly been the messenger but i interpreted it as her negativity towards me....so instead of agreeing with what her message was (which easily could have been from the two-faced VP), i was a bitch about it and labeled her a garbage truck and i needed to fight back....in hindsight, at these times, i was more the irrational garbage truck than her.....during these times, i should have been a good listener, forgive that she has to be the one to tell me the info, take in the info and compromise with it to see what should be done with it....she didn't shove any garbage my way so why envision it as such....
p63 - The mature person...makes sure that his own conduct is correct and seeks nothing from others; thus he is never disappointed. He has no complaints against heaven and no blame toward other people. - Tzu-ssu
p65 - First and foremost, your positivity is energizing to those around you. It's a large measure of what makes you attractive. Also, it's contagious. When you share your own joy, it ignites joy in others, a process that can forge lasting social ties. The more you open up and share your heartfelt positivity with others, the stronger your connections to others become.
HW p68 - KB - when asking for what we doing for next lesson, i either ask what we will do which can be taken as I expect her to do all the work....or I can tell her my ideas which can be interpretted as "this is what we are doing" and i don't care what u think......better way is just to ask "what lesson are we teaching....then later when i have some ideas, i can say....can i ask your opinion on what you think is best to teach?...or something like that...
p69 - I think we have to own the fears that we have of each other, and then, in some practical way, some daily way, figure out how to see people differently than the way we were brought up to. - Alice Walker
HW p 73 - I have labeled all whites and party-goers as garbage trucks...I don't care to get to know them and i avoid them at all costs....there are a few that i got to know and saw they are just as cool as other ppl....like gordon and kelly and other ppl like that that party all the time but on a normal occasion they are really cool...same with jenn and joan....then on the other side is whites like harry, skinny guy from orientation, and robert (UK guy), and bf and gf from scotland in my building and even tall simon from incheon...all super nice ppl that i liked a lot...but somehow i still keep this huge wall up and labeling all whites as permanent garbage trucks...i still avoid them at all costs, even the ones i mentioned...and even though tsubasa is half white, i am ok with him for some reason.....getting to know 2 more of them to knock down the wall is not enough.....hmm...speaking on the topic...there are a few teachers who just have a look about them and mainly cause they KB's friends that i just try to avoid..i got to talk to the nurse a lil and she was actually very nice.....somehow i am actually usually wrong yet i still don't care.....the wall has been around for too long...
HW p82 - GT is KB
can i perceive the good in her?
- not really, i need to be constantly reminded of the good she did behind the scenes or in the past as her attitude when i see her now is so bad...but if i try hard, i can see nice stuff she does everyday, like today, she brought up the dvds for me and without attitude told me what lesson we are doing...and she is the accountant of 4th grade teachers and she took the money nicely without fuss about how she does so much work because it is extra work without real appreciation from us...i should be thankful for all the nice things she decided our room needs...very nice of her...
....how could i be a GT to her? well...i fight back...i gave her trouble with VP and principle, especially when i said she was lying in front of all of her superiors in the cafeteria, and when she was the messenger for me not wearing a helmet when riding my bike...and i didn't listen to instructions "she gave me" such as when we had to clean the room...if students left the room in the same way i allow them to, KB and JK could have gotten really screwed over as it seemed like they are being slackers and don't know how to supervise the kids....and even when they cleaning and i told them not to clean my desk, it was me being a pain when all i had to do was give in and be compromising...but instead i again was her garbage truck by resisting direct orders she gave the kids..it made her look weak....and of course, i am also the burden to her as she can and is totally capable of teaching classes on her own, but because of the stupid gov't she has to babysit an untrained, ungrateful teacher who was born with great english, nothing to do with effort whatsoever....i will come in for 1 year, have fun in korea, do whatever to get out of real work at school, then leave without a care at all while she has to stay to clean up the mess, deal with all the politics related to school, and get paid shit....
so i am possibly the garbage truck to KB as she is the GT to me....weird how it can be so reciprocal...so what would the ideal person do in this situation? how do i fit the ideal? how do i fall short?
- ideal person would not give any attitute
- he would exercise compassion and expect nothing
- he would not compare KB to other teachers or other ppl...everyone is unique and who are we to judge...
- I would show appreciate for all the good and allow the bad to slide right past me.
- I would not avoid her but in fact try to work with her...i would not be the avoider...i would not make things worse
- i would try to be the most agreeable, least troubling co-worker she ever had....
and how do i fall short?
- mainly i am stubborn....i see things from my side and have no compassion towards her side...
- she has friends, maybe even more than me..definitely more than me at this school...must be some strong reasons why she is so likeable...
- and she is stressed...she needs a man..needs money....family prob on her back like crazy....and her english is not good either so she also feel insecure in that area as well....instead of thinking about how she can help me, i need to think about how i could help her...thats how i am with all the ppl i like and instead of letting it be me trying to like her first before being nice, i should try being nice to her before liking her....
- two ways in which i could change to improve the situation is:
1) stay in the classroom when she teaches
2) when she suggests something, instead of rejecting or giving in fully...mention what i like about it and then make it seem like a compromise so she feels like a winner
3)show compassion + expect nothing from her or anyone else for that matter.....only think about if i am doing the correct conduct.
4) be alert of how I can be helpful...(instead of just a immature burden)
HW p86 - i did the avoiding of KB and still do it today just like how the manager did to the author. and i am ashamed by it....me and KB prob dread talking to each other as badly as we each feel...and it needs to change....if i can observe her and find breaks in which she is super nice to other people or her students, then i can find times when i can compliment more to let her know that i am on her side, not against her...i tried this before and it worked a little, but definitely not superb...but that just might be because i didn't do it enough...i should to notice that not just do i put in lots of effort sometimes and her little but on other days, like today, she put in way more effort than me but it all comes unrecognized...
HW p92 - score: 54
- surprised how high it was..i thought i did better than this...but i guess everything i say is rude are all garbage trucks i need to pass...biggest was how mannerisms bother the hell out of me...if i can allow that to pass, i will be much better off.....brian and angela's mannerisms are stuff i should have just let pass by...i need to start labeling garbage trucks more often so i can be aware of it and let it pass...and mainly i think i am my own garbage truck and rules of mannersisms
HW p97
p10 - Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they look for a place to dump it. And if you let them, they'll dump it on you. So when someone wants to dump on you, don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Believe me, you'll be happier
HW p11 -i would gain more time. I would not lose time out with friends or myself wasted on the garbage. I would have a more productive life. I would feel better and be more happier more often. I would not have the stress i carry and be able to be a better friend, boyfriend, co-worker, neighbor. I would be able to live more the life i want to live and the life i believe i deserve. Instead of 1 hr a day where i can concentrate on what matters with rest of the time wasted on garbage, i can use 6 hrs a day on the relevant stuff and no time at all on the garbage.
p53 + p54 - in simple terms, displaced aggression boils down to taking out your frustration on someone else; you let a negative event in your life upset you to the point of disproportionately and inappropriately lashing out at someone else at their slightest provocation......a mildly annoying event is perceived as highly aversive and deserving of an aggressive response.
HW, p55 - How have GT stolen your happiness and success? def JK and then KB and also debt worries...they made me feel like shit. as if the most important, and nearly the only important thing in my life is fucked so life is, as result, fucked as well. they took away all my energy from everything else. no matter what i was doing, no matter how fun, i would quickly get slapped right back into that tense, unhappy moments....
p60 - We are given a choice every day in the way we respond to each other. When people sincerely apologize, show remorse, and attempt to make amends, we have the opportunity to show grace and forgive them. We may still hold them accountable and accept compensation, but we can forgive them.
- Appreciate being forgiven. Before you are able to forgive another person, a good first exercise is to appreciate an instance of when you yourself have been forgotten.
- Life is not a series of discreet events - it's fluid. How you conclude one interaction affects how you respond to the next. How you treat one person carries over to the next person, and that person will more often than not carry that energy to the people he or she encounters. When you forgive people their transgressions, you set in motion a wave of good feelings. When you punish them with your words and behavior, you set in motion a wave of ill feelings.
- The experience of forgiveness when it occurs is not just the notion of being relieved of a burden, but also a joyful eureka sense of having solved a problem. Suddenly, the fight-or-flight response of vengeance is replaced by the calming vision of green pastures and still waters of peace
HW p62 - Think of the people you may have judged too harshly in recent months for acting like garbage trucks. how did you turn their mistakes into major offenses. consider what role u played in the incident. In retrospect, write below how you could have offered real-time forgiveness to those people and let their actions pass by.
- labeling KB has a garbage truck is good in that i don't allow her negativity to bother me as much but in some ways, i am considering everything she does as negative or coersive with a hidden agenda....and this of course is prob how she sees me and all my actions...she has been sporatically helpful and i should not forget that. at times she has mainly been the messenger but i interpreted it as her negativity towards me....so instead of agreeing with what her message was (which easily could have been from the two-faced VP), i was a bitch about it and labeled her a garbage truck and i needed to fight back....in hindsight, at these times, i was more the irrational garbage truck than her.....during these times, i should have been a good listener, forgive that she has to be the one to tell me the info, take in the info and compromise with it to see what should be done with it....she didn't shove any garbage my way so why envision it as such....
p63 - The mature person...makes sure that his own conduct is correct and seeks nothing from others; thus he is never disappointed. He has no complaints against heaven and no blame toward other people. - Tzu-ssu
p65 - First and foremost, your positivity is energizing to those around you. It's a large measure of what makes you attractive. Also, it's contagious. When you share your own joy, it ignites joy in others, a process that can forge lasting social ties. The more you open up and share your heartfelt positivity with others, the stronger your connections to others become.
HW p68 - KB - when asking for what we doing for next lesson, i either ask what we will do which can be taken as I expect her to do all the work....or I can tell her my ideas which can be interpretted as "this is what we are doing" and i don't care what u think......better way is just to ask "what lesson are we teaching....then later when i have some ideas, i can say....can i ask your opinion on what you think is best to teach?...or something like that...
p69 - I think we have to own the fears that we have of each other, and then, in some practical way, some daily way, figure out how to see people differently than the way we were brought up to. - Alice Walker
HW p 73 - I have labeled all whites and party-goers as garbage trucks...I don't care to get to know them and i avoid them at all costs....there are a few that i got to know and saw they are just as cool as other ppl....like gordon and kelly and other ppl like that that party all the time but on a normal occasion they are really cool...same with jenn and joan....then on the other side is whites like harry, skinny guy from orientation, and robert (UK guy), and bf and gf from scotland in my building and even tall simon from incheon...all super nice ppl that i liked a lot...but somehow i still keep this huge wall up and labeling all whites as permanent garbage trucks...i still avoid them at all costs, even the ones i mentioned...and even though tsubasa is half white, i am ok with him for some reason.....getting to know 2 more of them to knock down the wall is not enough.....hmm...speaking on the topic...there are a few teachers who just have a look about them and mainly cause they KB's friends that i just try to avoid..i got to talk to the nurse a lil and she was actually very nice.....somehow i am actually usually wrong yet i still don't care.....the wall has been around for too long...
HW p82 - GT is KB
can i perceive the good in her?
- not really, i need to be constantly reminded of the good she did behind the scenes or in the past as her attitude when i see her now is so bad...but if i try hard, i can see nice stuff she does everyday, like today, she brought up the dvds for me and without attitude told me what lesson we are doing...and she is the accountant of 4th grade teachers and she took the money nicely without fuss about how she does so much work because it is extra work without real appreciation from us...i should be thankful for all the nice things she decided our room needs...very nice of her...
....how could i be a GT to her? well...i fight back...i gave her trouble with VP and principle, especially when i said she was lying in front of all of her superiors in the cafeteria, and when she was the messenger for me not wearing a helmet when riding my bike...and i didn't listen to instructions "she gave me" such as when we had to clean the room...if students left the room in the same way i allow them to, KB and JK could have gotten really screwed over as it seemed like they are being slackers and don't know how to supervise the kids....and even when they cleaning and i told them not to clean my desk, it was me being a pain when all i had to do was give in and be compromising...but instead i again was her garbage truck by resisting direct orders she gave the kids..it made her look weak....and of course, i am also the burden to her as she can and is totally capable of teaching classes on her own, but because of the stupid gov't she has to babysit an untrained, ungrateful teacher who was born with great english, nothing to do with effort whatsoever....i will come in for 1 year, have fun in korea, do whatever to get out of real work at school, then leave without a care at all while she has to stay to clean up the mess, deal with all the politics related to school, and get paid shit....
so i am possibly the garbage truck to KB as she is the GT to me....weird how it can be so reciprocal...so what would the ideal person do in this situation? how do i fit the ideal? how do i fall short?
- ideal person would not give any attitute
- he would exercise compassion and expect nothing
- he would not compare KB to other teachers or other ppl...everyone is unique and who are we to judge...
- I would show appreciate for all the good and allow the bad to slide right past me.
- I would not avoid her but in fact try to work with her...i would not be the avoider...i would not make things worse
- i would try to be the most agreeable, least troubling co-worker she ever had....
and how do i fall short?
- mainly i am stubborn....i see things from my side and have no compassion towards her side...
- she has friends, maybe even more than me..definitely more than me at this school...must be some strong reasons why she is so likeable...
- and she is stressed...she needs a man..needs money....family prob on her back like crazy....and her english is not good either so she also feel insecure in that area as well....instead of thinking about how she can help me, i need to think about how i could help her...thats how i am with all the ppl i like and instead of letting it be me trying to like her first before being nice, i should try being nice to her before liking her....
- two ways in which i could change to improve the situation is:
1) stay in the classroom when she teaches
2) when she suggests something, instead of rejecting or giving in fully...mention what i like about it and then make it seem like a compromise so she feels like a winner
3)show compassion + expect nothing from her or anyone else for that matter.....only think about if i am doing the correct conduct.
4) be alert of how I can be helpful...(instead of just a immature burden)
HW p86 - i did the avoiding of KB and still do it today just like how the manager did to the author. and i am ashamed by it....me and KB prob dread talking to each other as badly as we each feel...and it needs to change....if i can observe her and find breaks in which she is super nice to other people or her students, then i can find times when i can compliment more to let her know that i am on her side, not against her...i tried this before and it worked a little, but definitely not superb...but that just might be because i didn't do it enough...i should to notice that not just do i put in lots of effort sometimes and her little but on other days, like today, she put in way more effort than me but it all comes unrecognized...
HW p92 - score: 54
- surprised how high it was..i thought i did better than this...but i guess everything i say is rude are all garbage trucks i need to pass...biggest was how mannerisms bother the hell out of me...if i can allow that to pass, i will be much better off.....brian and angela's mannerisms are stuff i should have just let pass by...i need to start labeling garbage trucks more often so i can be aware of it and let it pass...and mainly i think i am my own garbage truck and rules of mannersisms
HW p97
Monday, February 27, 2012
How to Live on 24 hours a day
method to "expand" time
- morning commute (30min for 6 days a weeks), think on 1 thing and 1 thing only...focus and concentration...(can start with something as easy as just reading the newspaper in the morning)
- night time mental stimulation (90 min for 3 times a week), do something mentally stimulating like reading poetry, or a mental pursuit
- reflection - reflect on what u read or did or just life in general...its missing in most people's lives
therefore:
MWF night, stock scan + market analysis
Tu,Thurs - one day to mansoo...other day to chris...with mansoo, practice korean, with chris, learn korean
morning - think of 1 problem i want to solve
saturday, chill day...take care of self...day off
5 min every morning, meditate + reflect
5 min every night, meditate + reflect
notes:
It is the inexplicable raw material of everything. With it, all is possible; without it, nothing. The supply of time is truly a daily miracle, and affair genuinely astonishing when one examines it.
**decided to leave the notes in the kindle and not type it as its not worth the time
- morning commute (30min for 6 days a weeks), think on 1 thing and 1 thing only...focus and concentration...(can start with something as easy as just reading the newspaper in the morning)
- night time mental stimulation (90 min for 3 times a week), do something mentally stimulating like reading poetry, or a mental pursuit
- reflection - reflect on what u read or did or just life in general...its missing in most people's lives
therefore:
MWF night, stock scan + market analysis
Tu,Thurs - one day to mansoo...other day to chris...with mansoo, practice korean, with chris, learn korean
morning - think of 1 problem i want to solve
saturday, chill day...take care of self...day off
5 min every morning, meditate + reflect
5 min every night, meditate + reflect
notes:
It is the inexplicable raw material of everything. With it, all is possible; without it, nothing. The supply of time is truly a daily miracle, and affair genuinely astonishing when one examines it.
**decided to leave the notes in the kindle and not type it as its not worth the time
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
One Minute for Myself
by Spencer Johnson
- took so many notes that decided not to write the notes and just highlight a few points
- underwhelmed by the book actually as i expected lots more...but i did learn quite a bit
- Before I an take care of anything or anyone, I must first take good care of my self
- if i am taken care of, i will be happier and in a better mindset to help others
- if i have ignored myself, i will feel bad and no matter how hard i want to help others, my mind will feel too damaged and pessimistic to be helpful
- take 1 minute for myself when flustered. Stop, close your eyes, take deep slow breaths and ask yourself "how can i take better care of myself right now?"
- at any moment, you can change your mindset by turning your focus inwards
- "is there a better way right now for me to take good care of me?"
- When you take better care of my self, you naturally will take better care of others as you loving of yourself will become loving of others. And when they feel loved, the cycle will continue onto others.
- "the more I take good care of myself, the less resentment and anger I feel and the more loving I become towards myself and others
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